THE LOVE LIFE OF THE BALINESE

Romanticism only flourishes where traditional barriers for the free and natural relations between men and women are strongest. Consequently the practical and unrestrained Balinese in love does not idolize the woman be desires, but goes directly to the point. If he feels strongly attracted by a girl, he does not pretend a platonic interest and must culminate his desire by sleeping with her. A direct solicitation constitutes his declaration of love: " Do you want? (Kayun? Nyak?)" The only words in Balinese for "love" is kayun, suka, deman, nyak, all mean desire, " to like", and " to want", while stronger terms like lulut and tresna have a certain illegal connotations adultery (mamitra) on, as in Without a word in their vocabulary for the abstract idea of romantic love, the Balinese does not develop a morbid unhappiness when failing in love. A man who is refused by a girl may be unhappy for a while even as among us, but soon he will forget her and fall in love with a less recalcitrant girl.

Should the man be accepted, the affair may be developed into attachment that will in most cases lead to marriage. It is not infrequent that the couple may live together gendak before marriage, although not exactly in sin, since gendak is permitted
as a sort of a trial marriage, not yet made legal in public and before the gods. Often in a prearranged. marriage the couple is allowed gendak, and there are regulationstbat protect the woman against desertion and that make children born in the gendak period legal. Even among the more puritanical Bali Agas gendak appears in the traditional village law, as in the following excerpt from the law of the village of Lumbuan in the Bangli mountains:

"…the desa orders a man accused of intimacy with I a woman to take her as wife, making the offerings and ceremonies mentioned above. Should the man refuse to marry her he, has to pay the Penyeheb (a roast pig) and tumbakan (a cow) while the woman will pay only the tumbakan to clear her impurity and the pollution of the village (sebel). Should there result a child, it belongs to the woman. If it is not known who the man was, the woman is responsible and must provide the penyeheb and tumbakan within an allotted time." (Bawanagara, T. 11, No. 8/9, 1933)

This attitude must not be interpreted as one, of promiscuity; the Balinese like to marry young, and a man after love has usually marriage in view. However, a girl is not too, easily persuaded and puts off her suitors, often too long, and the ~ boy is either bored and leaves her or is obliged to use stronger methods.

Shy people who are after success in love maycinploy the services of professional matchmakers (ceti) or those of a magician to make a reluctant girl yield. To appear beautiful in the eyes of a desired person certain amulets are employed most often ancient Javanese bronze disks with a hole in the centre like Chinese coins, which are carried on the belt. Those used by men (pipis ardjuna) have an image in low relief of their semi-divine, romantic hero Ardjuna, while those tiged by women are the socalled " moon-coins" (pipis bulan) the moon coins I had occasion to observe seemed to me simple old kepengs. in which the.border was not properly centered roucing an accidental design like a new moon.These coinns in retality ancient amulets, are believed to have been made bray the Gods and not by humans; I was told that they are found lying around the temple at night if it is the wish of the gods to preRsenion4e with a magic coin. The lucky owners often lend them or rent them to prospective lovers for rather high prices. They a are kept wrapped in a little rag, covered with ointments and flower petals so that they will not die " and become useless.

In more difficult cases an infatuated person has recourse to powerful love magic (guna pengasih) incantations that resemble other sorts of secret magic and that consist of a charm (serana) and a spoken formula ( Mantra) - Typical charms are twin coconuts or twin bananas, and even more effective are the saliva of a snake, the tears of a chili, the oil from a coconut that has been dragged around by a chili, or that from a coconut tree under which a pregnant woman has sat. " The silken net " ( Ijaring sutra), " the crawling serpent " (i naga bilad), and the "constant weeping " (i tuntung tanggis) are among the names of formulas used to obtain a difficult girl. The desired person must be anointed inadvertently with the above-mentioned charms after the corresponding magic formula has been recited over them.

There are other ways to get a girl, such as the pengatiap, stealing her thoughts through concentrated mental effort " (keneh); thinking of the beloved at all times: when eating, putting food aside for her, and on going to sleep calling her mentally until she is made so unhappy and uncomfortable that she cannot work, eat, or sleep until she is with the man who operates the magic.

I was told of a special magic way to obtain a girl for " only one night," which is to remain throughout the night looking intensely at the flame of a lamp made out of a new coconut, freshly made oil, and a new wick, remembering the girl's face. On the following day she will not be able to refuse the man. A girl will also fall in love with a man who succeeds in feeding her a sirih leaf (to chew with betel-nut) on which has been inscribed an image of a Cintia, " the Unthinkable God," with enormously exaggerated sexual organs.

Besides these innocent and harmless procedures, there is a black and evil sort of magic (pengiwa) when a man or a woman wants to take revenge on a lover; to tie a hair of the victim to a bird which is afterwards released will make the person lose his mind. Another way to make a lover go insane is to make an image of the person using something that belonged to him: a piece of his underclothes, hair, nail-clippings, or earth from his footprint, but with the head either at the place of the sex or at the feet; the whole then inscribed with magic syllables and a formula said over the image. Menstrual blood anointed on the bead of a man infallibly destines him to be henpecked.

It is my impression that sexual abnormality is not prevalent among the Balinese and if it exists at all among the common people is due purely to mercenary reasons. The people are naturally languid and affectionate; it is usual for people of the same sex to embrace each -other ' to hold hands, to huddle together for a nap at public places; and even old men are often seen walking down the road band in band. This has given outsiders the impression that Balinese boys are effeminate, although, on the other hand, I have been asked by a naive Balinese why it is that white men so often prefer boys to girls.. I could only deny, his strange idea, but later I found the explanation when I observed the
alarming number of mercenary homosexuals around the hotels at night. In general the idea of homosexuality is inconsequential to, the Balinese, and a boy known as a, professional homosexual eventually falls in love with a girl, marries her, and becomes
normal. There are in Bali curious individuals called bentji, interpreted by the Balinese as " hermaphrodites " a condition which is characteristic of god so but bad and ridiculous among humans. The bentji are men who are abnormally asexual from birth (impotent, according to the Balinese), who act and dress like women and perform the work of women., In Denpasar there was one of these pitiable creatures, a man who dressed like a girl and talked in falsetto, selling food at a public stand, in the main street. It was a great joke of the village boys to sit by the bentji and make him offers of marriage. He answered coyly and even seemed to enjoy the puns.

Prostitution bad not, until recent years, flourished in Bali, but there are in the Balinese language terms that differentiate between a woman who prostitutes herself for pleasure (demangan, dialir) and a mercenary prostitute (nyundal, nayang) , a type that is rapidly increasing in the centres where there are foreigners. Bestiality (salah karma) is a dreadful, crime against the spiritual health of the community and is supposed to make.the country " sick " (panas) with epidemics, loss of crops, and so forth. In former times both animal, and offender were thrown into the ocean; today the animal is generally drowned and, the man exiled or put in jail. In any case a great ceremony of purification with animal sacrifices (mecaru) is necessary to cleanse the land. Bestiality is so horrifying to that Balinese that they can only explain it as bewitchment on the part of the man, to whom the animal appears as a beautiful woman.